I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
