I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
All the doctor said was why
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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