i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
