how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
