i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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