Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
