Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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