My first STD was from a foam party
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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