This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize