I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
