imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
