Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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