I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
