i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
