Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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