barbara walters just said penis...
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize