Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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