It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
