so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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