U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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