your thong is hanging out like whoa
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
