guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
he laminated a picture of his dick.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
