Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
