Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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