I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
So squirting runs in the family.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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