Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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