So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I think people are normalizing furries
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
