I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
