Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
