when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
