She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
