she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
