I wish I could punch you in the face.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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