so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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