Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
