I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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