Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
