shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
