would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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