there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
