We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You had me at "let me see your balls"
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
