I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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