As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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