Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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