If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
