ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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