oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
