It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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