You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize