When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
