There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
