I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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