At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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