porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
