You made me cry and you don't even care
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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