It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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