We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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