I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
