Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
