It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
