I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
