i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
