Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
