u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
i think im in europe. pls send help
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
