i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
