he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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