can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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