pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
