we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
